Atonement

I have been doing a lot of thinking since my near death experience. I have also been having nightmares.  You can guess - I'm dangling from that branch, suffering from hypothermia and I know that I must stay awake, but I can't and the Grim Beagle is coming, sniffing for me in long, snivelling snorts that  creep ever closer.  Uncle JS does not show up. I am paralysed.  I can feel GB's cold breath as he whispers, 'Bartok ... Bartok ... where are you?  I have bones for you - juicy ham bones - and knuckle bones.  There's no need to be frightened,' he tempts, 'you'll be safe with me.  All your pain will stop if you come with me.'  My resistance weakens and I whimper.  He homes in on the sound and just as his bony, shrivelled snout pushes through the hawthorn, I jerk awake in terror, which wakens Brahms too.

Brahms is being very kind to me, even though I almost cost him his voice.  So, I am trying to turn over a new leaf.  Brahms says that I need to get in touch with my Beagle roots.  He says that at times, I am too much of an individual and that I should tune into my Pack-side, which in his opinion, is under-developed. He has recommended that I meditate on the Second Precept of Beagle, 'Together we are strong,'  during morning relaxation and take up singing.  'You'll never be a cantor, Bartok,' he said to me, 'you've done too much shouting, but with discipline, you will make a most satisfactory growler.'  I confess, I was less than enamoured by the prospect and the old Bartok had an overwhelming desire to give him a good humping, but I restrained the demon and agreed to go along to early morning howl practice. 'Because, Bartok', pronounced Brahms, 'Beagle Song is about individuals singing the One Song for the One Pack for the Good of All - the Third Precept of Beagle.'  I am being saved!  So why do I want to be really naughty? I think it's because being good is boring.

I am also working on improving my behaviour on walkies, because I had, during my AWOL, given Auntie Gill something called a 'severe turn', which makes her peculiar.  From my observations, her symptoms included restlessness, sighing, muttering and aimless indoor walking.  I find it disturbing to watch, so it must be awful to have to do it.  Anyway, I am resolved to be nice to old starchy drawers from now on.